Polygamy Porter beer proves a marketing genius is at work

Smith’s Food King in Cedar City has become the family pit stop each time we head for Duck Creek. When we are traveling through Cedar City, Utah, we stop to purchase food and supplies en route to Highway 14.

And on one particular pit stop at Smith’s, I was reminded that the beer purchased there was different than the brew purchased in Vegas.

In short, the majority of the beer in Utah is 3.2 in alcohol content, so I mentioned the fact to my friendly checker since Nevada’s alcohol count is higher.

“Go over to the refrigerator and find yourself some Polygamy Porter,” the checker responded as my face immediately produced a “say what?” look. “It’s four-point beer brewed in northern Utah.”

Surely, the clerk was kidding, I thought. He was simply being funny while also expressing a unique wit.

But the guy reiterated that there actually was a beer called Polygamy Porter in the store, so I wandered back to the refrigerator to look for something I was certain was simply a big joke.

Upon opening the refrigerator door, there in plain sight was Polygamy Porter beer. On the label was a guy with his arms around a naked woman. Behind him were several other half-clad women with the line “Why have just one!” along the bottom of the label.

I stood there holding one of the bottles with a look on my face that had to be priceless. So stunned at what I was viewing, I must have looked like a statue as I attempted to make sense of what I had discovered.

But Polygamy Porter beer is the real deal. It is the result of an uncanny campaign by a genius from Milwaukee named Greg Schirf, whose ability to draw attention should be the topic of every marketing campaign in America.

Schirf set up shop in Park City, unleashed his Polygamy Porter Beer and plopped his feet on the desk as the publicity gained unstoppable momentum.

Once we arrived back in our home of Las Vegas, I immediately got on the phone and started telling everyone I knew about my discovery. We assembled a group of knowledgeable experts for a taste test.

The group of experts included Nevada State Senator Mike Schneider; former Doc Severinsen lead trumpet player Tony Scodwell; and Tony’s friend and fellow musician Larry Jess, who was visiting from Spokane.

Once our trusty trio of brew crew critics got done laughing at Schirf’s bottle and the carton, the caps were removed and the first swigs were taken. At the top of each bottle is “Bring some home for the wives.”

“This is my first beer since my heart surgery in February, and I love it!” exclaimed Jess, who added that he was going to look for Polygamy Porter as soon as he returned to Spokane.

The 65-year-old Scodwell, a native of Wisconsin who has actually made a living taste-testing liquor, was quick to concur with his friend.

“As is the case with all Wasatch brewed beers, Polygamy Porter has a bit of chocolate and coffee in the initial taste without the heaviness of some of the darker porters,” said Scodwell. “It’s very refreshing for our summertime but not without a substantial amount of heft. This is something that only someone from Milwaukee could dream up.”

Schneider joined the chorus of plaudits showering Polygamy Porter, which is being sold as the controversy related to polygamist Warren Jeffs has gained national attention.

“It’s a good beer,” said Schneider. “What an absolutely brilliant idea.”

Ironically, Schneider and the rest of the legislators in Nevada have been thrust into a controversy surrounding Gov. Jim Gibbons, whose reported womanizing has gained headlines in virtually every gossip rag in the country.

In fact, while I don’t claim to know marketing like Schirf, I think we have all come up with an idea based on the controversies created by Gibbons.

Yeh, a bottle of beer with Gibbons on the front surrounded by six half-clad women would be another marketing masterpiece.
I mean, considering that Nevada is the hotbed of new ideas, this one would make people forget the line “What happens here stays here.”

Sharon Ramquist of Milwaukee, contacted during the taste test, said it best when she proclaimed “They should have the line ‘You can’t have just one’ on the new Nevada beer with Gibbons on the label.”

Somebody needs to get hold of Schirf. Tell him it is time to expand his idea especially considering that I got the last two six-packs at Smith’s last weekend.

Mike Henle is a Las Vegas-based freelance writer and the author of “Through the Darkness: One Man’s Fight to Overcome Epilepsy.” He can be contacted via email at mhenle@aol.com, or through his web site www.mikehenle.com