Will someone please tell me the role of an efficiency expert?

It goes without saying that anyone who works for someone else is worried about now. Cutbacks are running rampant as the economy spirals downward and our retirement funds disappear like water during a drought.

And about now, there is a special breed of know-it-alls that raise their heads during bad times about like real estate agents surface during good times.

They are called efficiency experts, those well-dressed individuals who carry expensive brief cases and show up to put the fear of God in every business where they suddenly appear.

Efficiency experts resemble vultures circling wounded or sick animals in the middle of a field waiting to strike and remove the prey. You may have worked for decades in one place when all of a sudden, a stranger with a sharp pencil and a convincing voice shows up and is instantly worshiped by management as an expert.

Mind you, in many cases the efficiency expert actually has good advice, although we all kind of wonder why it takes a new guy on the block to disclose a weakness that has been evident for days, weeks or even years before.

I mean, why did the boss have to actually hire someone to outline a weakness recognized by everyone from the janitors to the CEO? Just when we’re supposed to be cutting corners, management spends big-time bucks for someone who not only doesn’t know his or her way around the building but could not possibly understand the strengths and weaknesses of the inner workings.

So, as frightened employees sit in their cubicles, they begin to fear that they are in the crosshairs. Or better yet, we all wonder just what it is about an efficiency expert that makes him or her knowledgeable about a topic he or she hasn’t been involved with until only the past few days.

About the time you get settled into your desk, there is that new face sitting in the boss’s office reviewing paper work and obviously studying the employee base. You start to feel like a rookie on a pro football team and cuts are about to be made.
Paranoia begins to set in and just when you should be concentrating on that deal you need to close, you start worrying about the fact your shirt may be wrinkled or your hair might be out of place. You don’t know the efficiency expert, so you don’t know what that individual is watching, what he is saying or what is expected of you.

But you know the hammer is ready to fall while also realizing that reaching your full productivity is stymied by an economy so ill that politicians are saying we are on the brink of another depression.

You have personal issues in your life that need to be addressed and now the efficiency expert is circling the office with a move so slow and smooth that you’d swear you’re hearing the music from the movie “Jaws” in the background.
Just when you start to relax, the efficiency expert is back on the grounds again. You see this same individual walking down the hallway, so you instantly duck into one of the backrooms or exit out a side door.

The government is bailing out the financial system in this country and you begin to wonder who is going to help you when times get even tougher. You’re an honest, hard-working soul who is simply trying to make ends meet, and it’s difficult to understand why the big boys take the money and go on expensive junkets while you are not sure you could even get unemployment benefits were you to get terminated.

Oh well, maybe I’m ready for another job change anyway. And while we’re discussing the future, I think it’s time to become an efficiency expert so that I can see first-hand just what these people do.

Mike Henle is a Las Vegas-based freelance writer and the author of “Through the Darkness: One Man’s Fight to Overcome Epilepsy.” He can be contacted via email at mhenle@aol.com or through his web site www.mikehenle.com.

Insurance more important than sprinklers

Home fire creates memories that live forever

The date Jan. 14, 2002 will forever live in my mind as the day we survived a horrific experience.
It was on this day that we all started out our typical daily routine. My wife was preparing for work, our youngest son was readying to attend his high school classes and I decided I would head for the gym.

All was fine until about three hours after we had all left. It was at that point that I received a frantic call from my neighbor with the mind-boggling line “You had better get home quick. Your house is fully-engulfed.”

I cannot tell you the panic that instantly ran through my mind, as I attempted to gather my senses while walking through the parking lot about 15 miles from home. Surely, this had to be a big joke, I thought, as I headed back to my car.

Heading west up the I-215 beltway in Las Vegas, a gazillion things ran through my mind as I looked toward the mountains to see smoke, which was the result of our 3,800 square-foot home custom going up in flames. Phone numbers started rolling through my mind ranging from my wife to my insurance agent and my neighbors (I had remembered that we left our Schnauzer, Blitz, inside in his kennel in an uncharacteristic move because my wife had feared he would get cold outside).

I called my wife’s boss to get him to drive her home. I then called my insurance agent (I accidentally called my former insurance agent first leading me to wiping egg off my face while driving like a mad man) before calling the neighbors to save Blitz along with our cockatiel, Steve.

The closer I got to the home the weaker I became. When I took the final two-mile drive up the road to our home and entered the cul-de-sac, there were countless fire trucks, an indescribable level of fear running rampant all over and the God-awful feeling that we were actually homeless.

Within minutes, a bus-load of individuals was loading burned and smoke-filled items out of our home. The front yard looked like a massive garage sale was taking place as the reality that our home was burning slowly set it.

A short time later, our insurance adjuster showed up assuring us that we would be taken care of. At the same time, he handed us a check for $2,000 for the essentials (like toiletries, clothing, etc.) and reiterated that he would have living quarters for us soon.

Just about that time, a little boy walked up to us with a handful of change to say “Hi. I don’t know who you are, but I want you to know that we are here to help.”

At that point, he dropped his change into our hands as nearly everyone within earshot wiped away the tears from their eyes. It was one of those moments that will forever live in our minds.

Our insurance adjuster found us a furnished home that evening, although we did spend the first night in a hotel. To borrow a line from the company, we were “in good hands,” although we truly had no idea until tragedy turned our beautiful home into a burned-out mess.

The fire had apparently been burning slowly all night long between the floors of our two-story home. Had it broken through to the second floor in the middle of the night, we might not have escaped.

Ironically, I had been involved in a struggle with the Clark County Commission working against the mandatory installation of fire sprinklers in single-family homes, a controversial issue that has raised its head again nationally. The commission reversed an earlier ruling and instead chose not to enforce the sprinkler ordinance.

Our fire was electrical in nature, and fire sprinklers would not have helped. In fact, the only key to the fire sprinkler issue was that they would have added $2 a foot to the construction of the home.

Truthfully, the maintenance aspect relating to fire sprinklers along with the possible water damage concerned me more than the fire itself. Many will agree that fire sprinklers are being encouraged simply because of the efforts of special interest groups, and not specifically because of the so-called safety issue.

However, the bottom line was that we were prepared for our disaster, although we didn’t know it at the time. We were dealt with fairly by our insurance company and because of that, we were able to carry on with our lives.

We survived the house fire while resurrecting our lives, but not without dedicated help from friends, family and yes, our insurance company.

But the fact remains that we could have been in dire shape were it not for the fact that we had an updated insurance policy with coverage we didn’t even know we had.

Fire can hit anywhere and at any time. The key is being properly prepared and frankly, I think the investment of my insurance policy was more important than the money I almost had to spend on fire sprinklers.